As the year ends, updates of some of the most-read posts on Minding Therapy in 2017:
I. Childhood Emotional Neglect: “Running on Empty” (published 1-13-17)
In May Yahoo reprinted an article from Running on Empty‘s author, Jonice Webb: “10 Things Emotionally Neglected Kids Grow Up Believing – That Are NOT True.” For further details, click on the link.
1. It’s not good to be too happy or too sad.
2. You are overly sensitive.
3. Your needs and preferences are irrelevant.
4. Talking about a problem will unnecessarily burden other people.
5. Crying is a weakness.
6. Others will judge you for showing your feelings.
7. Anger is a negative emotion and should be avoided.
8. Relying on another is setting yourself up for disappointment.
9. Others are not interested in what you have to say.
10. You are alone in the world.
II. “Emotionally Immature Parents”: Can You Relate? (5-4-16)
A quote from the book Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson:
No child can be good enough to evoke love from a highly self-involved parent. Nevertheless, these children come to believe that the price of making a connection is to put other people first and treat them as more important. They think they can keep relationships by being the giver. Children who try to be good enough to win their parents’ love have no way of knowing that unconditional love cannot be bought with conditional behavior.
III. Three Memoirs About Surviving Gay Conversion Therapy (3-20-17)
A popular 2012 novel, The Miseducation of Cameron Post by emily danforth, has been adapted for film and is due to be released pretty soon. Chloë Grace Moretz plays Cameron, a teen “forced into a gay conversion therapy center.”
IV. “The Last Word”: A Shallow View of OCPD (4-3-17) and “You Are Not Your Brain”: Manage OCD, Overthinking (10-31-16)
Understanding OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) vs. OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is a topic of major interest. Below a video explains the difference between the two disorders:
V. Living with Anxiety: Five Memoirs to Consider (6-5-17)
Selected quotes from three of the authors represented in this post:
Mental illness isn’t like tuberculosis, which is always caused by one particular bacterium. Anxiety disorders almost certainly have multiple causes — from genetics to childhood trauma to how your parents interact with you. And for any given person, the mix of these factors will be as singular as a fingerprint. (Andrea Petersen, On Edge)
Some social phobics find even positive attention to be aversive. Think of the young child who bursts into tears when guests sing “Happy Birthday” to her at a party—or of Elfriede Jelinek afraid to pick up her Nobel Prize. Social attention—even positive, supportive attention—activates the neurocircuitry of fear. This makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. Calling positive attention to yourself can incite jealousy or generate new rivalries. (Scott Stossel, My Age of Anxiety)
First, contrary to popular belief, Buddhists can actually be very anxious people. That’s often why they become Buddhists in the first place. Buddhism was made for the anxious like Christianity was made for the downtrodden or AA for the addicted. Its entire purpose is to foster equanimity, to tame excesses of thought and emotion. The Buddhists have a great term for these excesses. They refer to them as the condition of “monkey mind.” A person in the throes of monkey mind suffers from a consciousness whose constituent parts will not stop bouncing from skull-side to skull-side, which keep flipping and jumping and flinging feces at the walls and swinging from loose neurons like howlers from vines. Buddhist practices are designed explicitly to collar these monkeys of the mind and bring them down to earth—to pacify them. Is it any wonder that Buddhism has had such tremendous success in the bastions of American nervousness, on the West Coast and in the New York metro area? (Daniel B. Smith, Monkey Mind)