Therapist Jessica Baum‘s 2022 provides a fuller picture of the anxious attachment style millions experience. As the publisher states, “According to groundbreaking research in the field of attachment, anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviors that get in the way of finding and sustaining love.”
Baum, by the way, became a student of attachment theory as a result of dealing with her own depression and anxiety.
If you’re unsure if you have an anxious attachment style, Baum offers an attachment style quiz on her site. Although you’re required to provide your email address, you immediately get your results, including a brief video explanation by the author.
In Anxiously Attached Baum presents her own Self-full® Method, a way to work on your relationship patterns. It includes such issues as setting boundaries, establishing effective communication, and improving emotional intimacy.
Psychiatrist/author Dan Siegel: “Jessica Baum’s forthrightness, vulnerability and clinical sensitivity provide the foundation for a powerful journey of growth for anyone who has experienced a non-secure form of attachment formally known as ‘ambivalent,’ and publicly referred to being ‘anxiously attached…’ Now you can learn to cultivate the skills of inner soothing provided in this excellent guide—and you’ll discover how to ‘learn’ or ‘earn’ security in this science-backed yet practical set of steps to build the capacities that were not developed in your youth.”
Selected Quotes from Anxiously Attached
Anxious attachment stems from a deep sense of inner instability where old wounds make people anticipate that they will be abandoned again and again.
If you are in love with someone who doesn’t love you back the way you need and loving them more only results in you completely losing yourself, the most profound lesson lies in letting go and realizing that love alone is not enough.
I started to seek emotionally present friendships, leaning on the friends who were warm and consistent. This helped me feel supported while I worked on repairing my inner world.
Baum’s new book (2025) is Per the publisher: “You’ll discover what fulfilling, joyful, secure love feels like and how to cultivate it using simple techniques that will help you move from ‘fight or flight’ mode to a place of trust, fulfillment, and true closeness with the people you care about most.”
Dr. Ingrid Clayton, author of this year’s acclaimed Fawning, states: “What makes Safe so powerful is its gentle depth. Jessica Baum invites us to hold our protective patterns with reverence while guiding us toward true connection. This is attachment work for people ready to reclaim their story — and their worth.”
