“Be Your Own Therapist,” Some Experts/Books Advise

Do you really have to seek professional therapy in order to work out your issues—or can you just do it yourself? Social worker Robert Taibbi, LCSW, Psychology Today, in “How to Be Your Own Therapist,” provides a series of questions to help you determine needed steps if you’re interested in self-therapy versus seeing someone. (See the link for more info.)

• What’s the problem in concrete terms?
• Does the problem come and go, or seem to always be there?
• Are there specific triggers that set off the problem or worsen it?
• What have you done to solve the problem?
• What’s your theory about why you are having this problem?
• Where are you stuck? What do you need to move forward?
• What support do you need?

Self-Help Books

If that’s not enough, several specifically designed self-help books purport to help you be your own therapist. I’ve chosen two that seem to have received the most praise and/or readership.

I. How to Be Your Own Therapist (link) by Owen O’Kane (2023)   

U.K. therapist O’Kane’s book cover states, “Boost your mood and reduce your anxiety in 10 minutes a day,” and, indeed, readers have noted how practical his suggestions are—almost like a workbook. Despite the minimal time requirement, some will lack the discipline to follow through on these, though.

On a personal level, O’Kane opens up about the challenges of growing up gay in Northern Ireland. Relatedly, in addition to various self-therapy steps, self-compassion is strongly emphasized by him.

II. Think Like a Therapist: Six Life-Changing Insights for Leading a Good Life by Stephen Joseph, PhD (2022) 

Experienced psychologist/therapist Joseph lists his titular insights in a Psychology Today post. “After a lot of contemplation I came up with six fundamental truths that I think are the basis for a good life…”:

1. We are all fragile creatures, remember that life is fleeting and precious.
2. Give yourself the greatest gift, learn to value yourself just as you are, no strings attached.
3. Beware of letting yourself be used by others, look to yourself to make the choices in your life that are best for you.
4. Be curious, open to experience, flexible in your thinking, aware of your feelings, and always willing to change your mind, because life is about learning.
5. Enjoy life as it is, be hopeful and work for a better tomorrow, but be content within yourself today.
6. Bring love, kindness, gratitude, understanding and compassion to the world.

“I believe,” adds Joseph, “that these six lessons are like dominos falling, each naturally arising from the one before. Number six is especially important — what we bring to the world we get back for ourselves. Research shows the importance of these qualities, that people who are kinder, more grateful, and more compassionate are happier and healthier.”