In honor of tomorrow’s National Coming Out Day 2024, here is an origin story about myself, briefly told.
“Who was the first LGBTQ individual you ever met?” This question was posed to LGBTQ+ allies at a recent forum I attended.
Well, how would I, an actual LGBTQ person, answer this?
You might think this would be easy, but it’s kinda a stumper. I think back to high school, college, first jobs. Nope. I didn’t really know anyone. I’m a baby boomer, so this is not unusual.
My process of coming out was all internal. I was on my own. So, it all started with…the first person was…I mean, well, Me? When I didn’t know anyone else who was lesbian or gay or bisexual or trans, I still found a way to come out to me. “I” am the first LGBTQ+ person I ever met.
I was in my mid- to late 20’s when this happened. I mean, have you met me? I might sarcastically say now to that person that I was and had been.
I never played with girly dolls, but I did love my fuzzy teddy bear, the one I eventually gave a weird buzz cut. Kate McKinnon could play Weird Teddy in the not-upcoming Teddy movie.
From an early age I played sports, cops and robbers, and other “boy games” with the boys. I did not skip rope with the girls.
In fifth grade I was cast by a male teacher as the co-lead in a short two-person play set to a romantic tune. Mr. Stevens came up with a clever plot twist, though. In the end, instead of my boyfriend picking me up in his arms, it’s me who picks up my boyfriend.
When I tried out for my junior class play, a courtroom drama with a huge cast of characters, I was chosen to be the cop. Keep in mind female cops were scarce in the 1960’s.
Outside of school I liked tomboy clothes, including hats—captain’s hat, sailor’s hat, baseball hats, hats I don’t know the names of but are not ones girls wore. Although school dress codes back then mandated skirts/dresses for girls, I accessorized with sneakers (the latter not a thing back then, and I’m kind of surprised I got away with it).
Interestingly, in my day all these gender role variations were widely considered tomboyish, not transgender. Also lesbian-ish to those in the know. I was not in the know.
My female friends mooned over boys, of course, but I had no such interest. Boys were some of my best friends, though.
Meanwhile, it just felt natural (if also secretive and naughty) to have mutual episodes of physical closeness with girls in the dark.
Despite all this and more, nearly a decade beyond high school passed before I was able to meet me. Like many other LGBTQ individuals, I wish it had been sooner. I’m glad to be me, out and proud.
“Who was the first LGBTQ individual you ever met?” If You are now answering this question all these decades later, maybe you’ll say it was Me.
