Andrew Solomon‘s Far from the Tree (2012) is a groundbreaking nonfiction book based on over 10 years of interviews with over 300 extraordinary families with exceptional children. It also became the focus of a later-made documentary by Rachel Dretzin.
From publisher Scribner: “Solomon’s startling proposition is that diversity is what unites us all. He writes about families coping with deafness, dwarfism, Down syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, multiple severe disabilities, with children who are prodigies, who are conceived in rape, who become criminals, who are transgender. While each of these characteristics is potentially isolating, the experience of difference within families is universal, as are the triumphs of love Solomon documents in every chapter.”
Publishers Weekly notes that Solomon “takes great pains to probe the dark side of parental despair and anger, as well as ennobling efforts of resilience and strength.”
Solomon’s own childhood differences and subsequent adult developmental process also inform this book. Part of his history is that a parent disapproved of his homosexuality, which led to him trying reparative therapy, a now widely discredited practice.
Kathryn Schulz, vulture.com, reaches the following ultimate conclusion:
…What undid me, again and again, was the radical humanity of these parents, and their gratitude to and for children they never would have chosen. ‘If someone had said to me, Betty, how’d you like to give birth to a lesbian dwarf?, I wouldn’t have checked that box,’ one mother joked. Yet what once seemed alien and unwanted has become beloved beyond expression. A father of a child with Down syndrome says, ‘For David I’d cure it in an instant; but for us, I wouldn’t exchange these experiences for anything. They’ve made us who we are, and who we are is so much better than who we would have been.’ A mother of a deaf child says that she ‘can see no benefit whatsoever in Tom being deaf—for him. But the benefits for me were absolutely huge … I’d been brought up among very clever, high-pressure people. For the first time, through disability, I met people who were good.’ Solomon cites a poll in which parents of disabled children were asked to agree or disagree with a series of statements. One of them was ‘I have increased compassion for others due to my experience.’ One hundred percent of respondents agreed.
As in the book, some key words in the 2017 documentary are horizontal identities, as contrasted with vertical identities: “Because of the transmission of identity from one generation to the next, most children share at least some traits with their parents. These are vertical identities…Ethnicity, for example, is a vertical identity…Language is usually vertical…Religion is moderately vertical…Nationality is vertical, except for immigrants.” And, of course, there are many other examples.
“Often, however, someone has an inherent or acquired trait that is foreign to his or her parents and must therefore acquire identity from a peer group. This is a horizontal identity. Such horizontal identities may reflect recessive genes, random mutations, prenatal influences, or values and preferences that a child does not share with his progenitors.”
The documentary showcases five different types of horizontal identities. Viewers see “intimate and heartening views of people with Down syndrome, autism, of dwarfs, and the family of an 18-year-old boy now imprisoned for life for the murder an 8-year-old boy. And of Andrew Solomon, gay in a family that could not at first accept him” (Dr. Lloyd I. Sederer, HuffPost).
Ann Hornaday, Washington Post: “This documentary about families will make you cry — for all the right reasons.”
Far from the Tree is available to stream. Watch the trailer below:
