in 2024 by the true story of leaving her abusive marriage, A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy.
Raised in a Baptist megachurch, Levings married at age 19. Regarding A Well-Trained Wife, Kirkus Reviews states, “Eventually, Levings discovered a virtual community of liberal-leaning, art-loving Christian women who, among others, provided a safety net when her marriage came to a cataclysmic head. The author pulls no punches in recounting nearly 15 years of oppression and abuse, painting a visceral portrait of her then-monochromatic world with bold strokes of linguistic color and sensory detail.”
Levings eventually became aware of the concept of religious trauma; it was beginning to be recognized as a psychological phenomenon some time within the first year or two after she and her kids left their home. She also learned about the trauma response of “fight-flight-freeze-fawn” and realized she’d become a fawner in childhood. Various forms of therapy have helped in her recovery.
Which brings us to I Belong to Me.
The recovery process has been difficult, as expected for those dealing with religious trauma. “With an audacious persistence to reclaim her life, Tia set off on a 15-year quest to psychological peace,” says the publisher. “The result is an emotionally regulated, actualized, self-aware woman who is able to tell her harrowing story without retraumatizing herself ―a woman who can reach back to help others claim what’s theirs. If trauma took your past, it shouldn’t get your present and future too.”
Levings’s mission is to let others know they’re not alone and that there is a way out. In addition to reaching out through her books she also posts social media videos, provides consultation, and lists various religious trauma resources on her website.
Selected Reviews of I Belong to Me
Julie Bogart, author of Raising Critical Thinkers: “Today, when the devastating effects of religious trauma are widespread and well known, Tia Levings’ book I Belong to Me is an essential lifeline. Tia not only identifies the effects of high control religion, but offers a gentle, nourishing pathway for recovering agency and strength to chart a new path.”
Brandan Robertson, author of Queer & Christian: Reclaiming the Bible, Our Faith, and Our Place At The Table: “Few people write about religious trauma with the honesty, clarity, and compassion that Tia Levings brings to I Belong to Me. This book is both a witness and a guide, naming the harm so many have endured while offering a path toward healing, wholeness, and self-reclamation. For anyone trying to find themselves after toxic faith, this book will feel like the lifeline they have been longing for.”
Booklist: “Eloquent. [I Belong to Me] focuses on how to recover hope after a religious trauma―in fact, any trauma―examining the journey in minute detail with the goal of nurturing a healthy mind and body.”
