Is personality change possible? Olga Khazan, author of Weird, addresses this possibility in her new book
Big-Five, by the way, is just one view of the personality spectrum, but it’s a popular one. If you wish to self-test for these specific traits, Khazan recommends PersonalityAssessor.com.
Meghan Fox Gurdon, wsj.com: “The author… notes that, well into the 20th century, psychologists had competing theories and lists of different personality traits. She does not discuss the question of temperament, which is a whole other ball of philosophical wax. But for the purposes of her experiment, she accepts what has come to be the prevailing secular view. For the sake of enjoying this buoyant and entertaining account, the reader will be inclined to join her.”
Khazan mainly desired, states Fox Gurdon, to go from a “disagreeable introvert” to a “sunnier, livelier, more amenable extrovert.” She also wanted to be “happier, more successful and more fulfilled. Her investigation showed, she writes, that a slight improvement in the balance of one’s personality can help a person enjoy life, ‘rather than just endure it’.”
Selected Quotes and Info from Khazan’s Interview with Rachel Uda, Katiecouric.com:
About 40 to 60 percent of our personalities are inherited. The rest is dictated by your experiences: Did you go to college? What kind of job do you have? Who are your friends? Are you married? These are all experiences and relationships that end up molding your personality — at least, the part of it that’s flexible — over time. So you can choose to change your personality in the desired direction…
The one I found really difficult was neuroticism. It should come as no surprise when you consider how much people spend on therapy and psychiatric drugs….(W)ith neuroticism you really have to want to change and be willing to do the internal work. You can’t just walk up to someone and tell them to stop worrying.
Her suggestions for things to work on for each of the Big Five:
- Openness: traveling.
- Conscientiousness: declutter.
- Extraversion: go out and interact with people.
- Agreeableness: volunteering.
- Neuroticism: meditation. (She chose MBSR, mindfulness-based stress reduction.)
Selected Reviews of Me, But Better
Gretchen Rubin: “One of the most important questions we ask ourselves is, ‘How do I change, if I want to change—if change is even possible?’ Olga Khazan tackles this challenge for herself with a determination that’s both comical and admirable. Hilarious, honest, and packed with cutting-edge research, this book got me turning the pages and making lists of things to try in my own life.”
Adam Grant: “This book shatters the myth that personality is set in stone. Drawing on state-of-the-art evidence and rich personal experience, Olga Khazan artfully reveals what our traits really are—and how we can adapt them to achieve our goals.”
Oliver Burkeman: “Me, But Better is a hugely readable, deeply researched and often hilarious investigation of the challenges involved in changing who we are. It is also an embodiment of its own ultimately uplifting message: reading it, I felt myself turning into someone more able to pursue more fulfilling ways to live.”
