Keeping Secrets: Inside Therapy and Outside (Mary Lambert’s “Secrets”)

Keeping secrets about you not keeping secrets is one of the therapist’s main obligations…Therapist Daryl Stone, Minding Therapy

In my novel Minding Therapy lead character Daryl states the above about the therapist’s code of confidentiality. One of the main reasons it’s so important not to breach this is because therapy may be the first, maybe the only, place one’s confidences are disclosed. And people need to feel their secrets are in good hands.

This is not to say that everyone divulges all their private thoughts to their shrinks. For good or for bad, often some are kept out of sessions. Telling any or all is an individual choice based on any number of factors.

Even therapists in therapy might hold back. Gerri Luce, for one, is a clinical social worker writing under a pseudonym. She calls her own years of omission “living heavy” and states on her Psychology Today blog:

I regret all the deceit, the secrets, and the manipulation. The blatant lies, the lies of omission have come back to hurt me in the form of the hands of the clock making endless rounds. I alienated psychiatrists, therapists and nurses with my calculating actions designed to mislead.

If I had been forthright, as difficult as that would have been, if I had simply told the truth, my treatment would have progressed much faster and perhaps I would not still need to be in therapy.

Singer/songwriter Mary Lambert (of “Same Love” and “She Keeps Me Warm”), on the other hand, just released the video for her jaunty new song “Secrets”—things she would appear not to be keeping.

She’s not keeping secrets at all. She’s saying, in fact, that she doesn’t care if the whole world knows them.

The written lyrics are contained within the video below, but you can also jump ahead to see them in full.

The first verse and chorus of “Secrets” by Mary Lambert are as follows. See the rest at Genius.com:

I’ve got bi-polar disorder
My shit’s not in order
I’m overweight
I’m always late
I’ve got too many things to say
I rock mom jeans, cat earrings
Extrapolate my feelings
My family is dysfunctional
But we have a good time killing each other

[Pre-Chorus]
They tell us from the time we’re young
To hide the things that we don’t like about ourselves
Inside ourselves
I know I’m not the only one who spent so long attempting to be someone else
Well I’m over it

[Chorus]
I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are (secrets are)
I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are (secrets are)So-o-o-o-o what
So what
So what
So what

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