The journey to self-awareness is one that lasts a lifetime — it requires courage, energy, and commitment to see ourselves more clearly. And though the process is complex, it always starts with a simple (but not easy) decision: to question our assumptions about ourselves, to take charge and proactively examine how we’re seen, and to pair our quest for the truth with a positive mind-set and self-acceptance. In a nutshell, we start by making the decision to become braver but wiser. Insight author Tasha Eurich
Solid information about the development of insight and self-awareness is scarcer than what you might imagine.
First, some definitions. Victoria Lemle Beckner, PhD, Psychology Today, offers this take on insight: “…(M)ost experts agree it is a new way of understanding your experience which resonates emotionally. It is not a thought, but a discovery that reverberates in your bones. When a dawning insight is then put into words, it can revise our self-narratives (beliefs).”
Jonice Webb, PhD, Psychology Today, believes self-awareness involves having an “observing ego,” which is about having some degree of objectivity about oneself.
But organizational psychologist and researcher Tasha Eurich may have the most comprehensive take on both insight and self-awareness in her 2017 book Insight: Why We’re Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life.
Eurich links the two concepts and states that while 95% of us think we have self-awareness—get this—only 10 to 15% actually do.
Furthermore, as told to Melissa Dahl, The Cut, there are two types of self-awareness: internal and external, the latter being “knowing how other people see me.” The unfortunate truth is that other people are often more accurate about us than we are about ourselves.
One of the interesting features of Eurich’s website is an insight quiz that only requires about five minutes of your time. The catch? You’ll need a friend or someone in your life willing to answer the same questions privately about you and report back. See this link to participate.
How can we develop increased self-awareness? Introspection can be helpful but doesn’t always actually lead to insight. Her research surprisingly found, “People who introspected were more stressed and depressed, less satisfied with their jobs and their relationships, less in control of their lives,” she states in a pertinent TED Talk called “Increase Your Self-Awareness with One Simple Fix.”
When we ask ourselves “why?” questions, she discovered, “it doesn’t lead us towards the truth about ourselves. It leads us away from it.” A couple of the reasons for this involve our inability to probe our own unconscious and our tendency to not be objective when it comes to ourselves.
People who were more successful at reaching self-awareness asked “What” versus “Why” questions. “Why-questions trap us in that rearview mirror. What-questions move us forward to our future.” For examples that elucidate, please watch the TED Talk referenced above.
