Not being believed regarding sexual assault and sexual abuse disclosures is a type of trauma in and of itself. When you combine the lack of belief/support with the direct effects of the sexual trauma itself, it often takes many years for a victim to catch up to what happened, to figure out what it’s done to one’s life, to realize how it affects one’s self-esteem, and to further break one’s silence in such a way that allows fuller conscious awareness of what happened.
I mean, if any of the above aftermath healing even gets to happen at all.
In the realm of pop culture, Lady Gaga‘s song “Til It Happens to You” and slam poet Akeemjamal Rollins‘s “In Response” both address the effects of sexual assault.
I. “Til It Happens to You” is the musical centerpiece of The Hunting Ground (2015). Although this documentary is specifically about sexual assault on college campuses, the lyrics could apply to all types of trauma. “Til it happens to you, you don’t know how it feels.”
The video’s cast includes actresses Nikki Reed and Kiersey Clemons. The victims portrayed are female and a trans male.
You tell me “it gets better, it gets better,
in time”
You say I’ll pull myself together, pull it together,
“You’ll be fine”
Tell me what the hell do you know,
What do you know,
Tell me how the hell could you know,
How! could you know
Till it happens to you, you don’t know
How it feels,
How it feels.
Till it happens to you, you won’t know
It won’t be real
No It won’t be real
Won’t know how it feels
You tell me “hold your head up”
Hold your head up and be strong
Cause when you fall, you gotta get up
You gotta get up and move on.”
Tell me, how the hell can you talk,
How can you talk?
Cause until you walk where I walk,
It’s just no joke!
Till it happens to you, you don’t know
How it feels,
How it feels.
Till it happens to you, you won’t know
It won’t be real (how could you know?)
No It won’t be real (how could you know?)
Won’t know how I feel
Till your world burns and crashes
Till you’re at the end, the end of your rope
Till you’re standing in my shoes, I don’t wanna hear a thing or two
From you, from you, cause you don’t know
Till it happens to you, you don’t know
How I feel
How I feel
How I feel
Till it happens to you, you won’t know
It won’t be real (how could you know?)
No It won’t be real (how could you know?)
Won’t know how It feels
Till it happens to you, happens to you,
Happens to you.
Happens to you, happens to you,
Happens to you ( how could you know?)
Till it happens to you, you won’t know how I feel
II. Acclaimed slam poet Akeemjamal Rollins has equally moving and important words to say in his work titled “In Response.” This one’s for the male victims.
Alanna Vagianos, The Huffington Post: “Traditional masculinity tells men they need to be aggressive and sex-obsessed in relationships and in life. Rollins explains that this often leads to the myth that men can’t be raped. But 1 in 6 men will experience sexual abuse in their lifetimes.”
“No, I didn’t want it. But it happened and I am here,” he says.
The video below was filmed during a poetry slam competition:
