Tag Archives: benefits of sobriety

Aug 02

“We Are the Luckiest” Followed by “Push Off from Here”

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In the world of “quit lit” two books by Laura McKowen are in vogue: memoir We Are the Luckiest:The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life and the newly released Push Off from Here: Nine Essential Truths to Get You Through Sobriety (and Everything Else). 

McKowen is the CEO and founder of The Luckiest Club, a supportive online community for those seeking recovery from alcohol addiction.

I. We Are the Luckiest

Fear of losing her preschooler daughter provided McKowen the main impetus to seek help for her alcoholism. Publishers Weekly: “McKowen makes the case that her addiction, while incredibly painful and difficult, ultimately made her lucky by allowing her to experience an alcohol-free life. Even as she encourages others to follow her path, she acknowledges it is excruciating…but promises it’s worth it. McKowen’s moving story will be a boon to those seeking help with addiction.”

Selected Quotes from We Are the Luckiest

One of the students raised his had and said, matter-of-factly, ‘I’m afraid I can’t stop drinking.’

The room went silent. All eyes went to our teacher, David.

Without missing a beat, he smiled, looked at him, and said, ‘Of course you can. Are you drinking now?’

‘No.’

‘And now?’

He smiled, and said softly, ‘No.’

‘…and how about right now?’

We all smiled this time.

‘No.’

Loneliness started to abate only when I began to really let people in and tell them the truth, and that took a long, long time. The antidote to loneliness wasn’t just being around others or sharing common ground. It was intimacy.

If something is keeping you from being fully present and showing up in your life the way you want, then deciding to change that thing is a matter of life and death. It’s the difference between existing and actually living.

II. Push Off from Here: Nine Essential Truths to Get You Through Sobriety (and Everything Else)

From the publisher: “When Laura McKowen was two years sober, she received an email from a woman whose sister was struggling with alcohol addiction. McKowen had barely climbed out from the dark place the woman’s sister was in, but she made a list of the things she most needed to hear when she was deep in her own battle.”

Here is that list on which Push Off from Here is based:

1. It is not your fault.
2. It is your responsibility.
3. It is unfair that this is your thing.
4. This is your thing.
5. This will never stop being your thing until you face it.
6. You cannot do it alone.
7. Only you can do it.
8. You are loved.
9. We will never stop reminding you of these things.

Hello Someday Coaching offers a brief description of each of the above. Scroll down the page (on the link provided) to find it.

Readers of Push Off from Here emphasize that people dealing with challenges other than alcohol addiction can also benefit from this book.

Apr 27

“The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober”

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The consumer reviews of Catherine Gray‘s The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober (2018) have shown that her book is highly relatable among avid “quit lit” readers. Thus, the publisher seems to get it right: “Whether you’re a hopelessly devoted drinker, merely sober-curious, or you’ve already ditched the drink, you will love this book.”

Below are selected quotes from The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, many of which are Gray aptly quoting others.

As Annie Grace says, ‘We protect alcohol by blaming addiction on a person’s personality rather than on the addictive nature of alcohol…The concept of addictive personality lets us close our minds to the fact that alcohol is addictive, period. (Also see this Minding Therapy link.)

Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I’ve never woken up and been like, “What is this Pilates mat doing out?” AMY SCHUMER

I didn’t have a drinking problem as such. I was great at drinking! It was the stopping. I had a stopping problem.

If I quit eating cake, would people make jokes about me ‘not being able to handle cake’? No. I don’t think so. If I quit imbibing cheese because I wanted to commit suicide after eating cheese, would people ask, ‘Can’t you just have a little bit of cheese? Just one piece of cheese?’ *Pleadingly offers up the cheese* HAVESOMECHEESE.

As much as we try to separate alcohol from other drugs by saying ‘alcohol and drugs’ (which makes no actual sense: it’s like saying ‘foxgloves and flowers’ or ‘BMWs and cars’), alcohol is a drug.

My top sober reads are: Unwasted: My Lush Sobriety by Sacha Z Scoblic, Blackout by Sarah Hepola, This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol by Annie Grace, Dry by Augusten Burroughs and Kick the Drink…Easily by Jason Vale. [See previous blog posts on Blackout and This Naked Mind.]

Everything is interconnected. Gratitude improves sleep. Sleep reduces pain. Reduced pain improves your mood. Improved mood reduces anxiety. It’s a daisy-chain of benefits.

The eternally epic Anne Lamott says, ‘There is almost nothing outside of you that will help in any kind of lasting way, unless you’re waiting for an organ. You can’t buy, achieve or date serenity and peace of mind. This is the most horrible truth, and I so resent it. But it’s an inside job.’ (Watch Anne’s TED talk on the 12 truths she’s learned, it’s glorious.)

Addiction is now often regarded as a spectrum. ‘It isn’t an issue of “sensible drinker” and “dependent drinker”,’ says Dr. Julia Lewis. ‘People often don’t realize that everyone has their own “tipping point” along that spectrum, whereby the dependence will suddenly start running away with them.’