Often I’ve finished watching a TV series or movie and wondered, “Why not therapy? Why didn’t so-and-so just go to therapy? Things would’ve been so much better!”
That’s exactly the problem. Better equals uninteresting. No story.
For the sake of brevity, let’s illustrate with imagined examples from a few movies/shows already addressed on this blog: Black Swan, The Devil Wears Prada, and The Sopranos.
I. Black Swan
Nina (Natalie Portman) has internalized the idea that being good isn’t enough. She has to be perfect. Her body, her dancing, her behavior, her sexuality, her emotions—all of it has to be controlled. And because she can’t tolerate imperfection, she eventually can’t tolerate herself.
A therapist might say, “You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy.”
Nina would say, “But I do have to be perfect.”
“Why?”
“My mother expects it.”
“Why does your mother expect it?”
And off the therapy goes.
The tragedy of Nina is that she is surrounded by people who want her to perform, but almost nobody asks her how she feels.
Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep) hires Anne Hathaway‘s Andy (and rehires her in the recent sequel). Priestly is a highly demanding, cold, non-caring boss.
Andy arrives at her new job thinking that’s all it is. What she doesn’t realize is that she’s entering an environment in which everyone has agreed that exhaustion, intimidation, and impossible standards are simply the price of admission.
Is Miranda likely a great candidate for therapy? Not likely. Her apparent psychopathy is ego syntonic, meaning she’s not troubled by who she is or suffering because of it. Andy? Yes, she might benefit from it.
Andy sacrifices pieces of herself in order to get affirmation. Her transformation, often presented as a makeover, is what happens when you begin confusing success with becoming someone you actually like.
At any given point along the way, a therapist could have saved her a lot of trouble.
“So,” says the shrink, “you’ve become extremely successful.”
“Yes.”
“And are you happy?”
“Well…”
“That’s not a yes.”
“No.”
“Okay. Let’s talk about it.”
III. The Sopranos
Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) actually does go to therapy. And it helps him—a little.
And then he continues being Tony Soprano.
Which may be the most realistic lesson of all.
Therapy doesn’t automatically turn you into a good person. It doesn’t erase your childhood. It doesn’t make you stop being angry or insecure or selfish.
Sometimes it just gives you a better understanding of why you are the way you are. And then you still have to decide what to do with that.
Why Not Therapy?
So, why not therapy? If Nina had learned that perfection isn’t the same thing as self-worth, Andy had worked on internal satisfaction and insight, and Tony had made different choices, would we watch?
No.
There would actually be no Black Swan, The Devil Wears Prada, or The Sopranos.
Just emotionally healthier people making reasonable decisions.
Lovely for the real world we live in.
Rotten for television and movies.
