Two new binge-worthy series, Sirens and The Better Sister, depict adult sister conflict, including estrangement and the possibility of reconciliation.
“Siblings share a unique relationship: They have known each other longer than anyone else,” states therapist Karen Gail Lewis, author of Sibling Therapy: Why is it, though, that some adult siblings want nothing to do with each other? Reasons vary, but childhood trauma is a common one. Another is the issue of black sheep-ism and/or favoritism by parents. And another has to do with caregiving needs, e.g., of a parent, arising.
Lewis’s website lists a few additional reasons: “frozen images” of a sibling’s childhood behavior or personality, rigid or “crystallized” family roles that may not reflect one’s true identity, fallout from marital conflict between parents, and sibling incest.
Your actual childhood sibling relationships are one thing, says Lewis, and “the creation of your childhood perceptions, feelings, hurts, and resentments about your original siblings” that you carry with you into adulthood is another. These are “the ghosts” Lewis references in her book title: “not visible, and they never age.”
SPOILERS AHEAD! regarding the sister conflict in Sirens and The Better Sister…
In Netflix’s Sirens older sister Devon (Meghann Fahy) and younger sister Simone (Milly Alcock) were affected differently by the suicide of their mother and the subsequent shutdown of their depressed, alcoholic father.
The alcohol- and presumably sex-addicted working-class Devon now takes care of her demented father while Simone, who had to be in foster care in her teens due to severe neglect, is employed as a personal assistant to ultra-upper-class Michaela (Julianne Moore). The two have forged a codependent friendship of sorts as well.
When Devon tracks down her estranged sister to request help with their father, she gets a flat no. It doesn’t end there, though. Convinced Simone has fallen into a weird Michaela-led cult and still feeling guilt for not being there for her sister way back when, Devon seeks to rescue her. But Simone isn’t having that either. Disappointingly to Devon, Simone is willing to abandon all others in order to obtain adoration by a more parental type of figure.
If in Sirens the “better sister” at first seems to be the younger upward-aspiring Simone, in Prime’s The Better Sister similar dynamics apply. Successful magazine editor Chloe (Jessica Biel) is married to an attorney while older sis Nicky (Elizabeth Banks) long ago lost her marriage, custody of her only child, and her relationship with her sister due to her addiction issues.
The son, Ethan, now 17, has been raised by Nicky’s ex-husband Adam (Corey Stoll)—and by Chloe, to whom he’s now married. Hence, Chloe’s betrayals, i.e., “stealing” Nicky’s family, is one reason for their sister conflict and estrangement; Nicky’s addiction is another.
Nicky is five years sober and in a working-class existence in another state when the authorities contact her about Adam’s murder. She, not Chloe, is next in line to be Ethan’s legal guardian, and she’s happy to be reunited with him.
Unfortunately, Ethan is the one charged with killing Adam. As each sister tries to help and support Ethan, Chloe eventually learns that Nicky was abused by their alcoholic father. She also gradually learns to appreciate that Nicky had once been a protective sister, an instinct that ultimately kicked right back in and overpowered Nicky when she heard that Adam had been hurting Chloe. Adam had also victimized Nicky.
